it's late

It's late. My children think sleep isn't important tonight. I've been cleaning out my room in between comforting/reprimanding/feeding the kids. I found a sheet of paper with some comparisons from a book I read about 5 years ago. Here they are for your reading enjoyment:

less productive than a truckload of Chihuahuas

more useless than a weasel in a cardboard shirt

like a dead nun in a snowbank

deader than a fish stick at a cat festival

swearing like wounded pirates

went down harder than a 90-year-old drunken woman with a broken hip

I can now throw away that sheet of paper. Thank you and good night.